Driftwood Dragons

I don't understand Ottawa's Bluesfest. It's true, the Tragically Hip are icons and awesome...but, Blues? Feist is also cool. I enjoy her songs when they come on the radio. I wouldn't consider her Blues though. Then we get to Fergie... she is definitely not Blues, furthermore, I can't really stand her (but that's besides the point.) Great Big Sea, um, I hate to tell you this folks, but they are definitely not Blues - they are Newfoundland music, trendy Newfoundland music, but still Newfoundland music...and last time I looked, Newfoundland music was closer to Folk than it is to Blues. And finally we have Primus...PRIMUS?!?!

There are SOME people that are Blues playing, or at least, closer to Blues than the headliners.

My point is...Why the hell are they calling this Bluesfest? I think they should call it "Music & Beer", since that's really what it is. "Musicians that will sell tickets, a handful of lesser known Blues musicians, and some beer tents....fest"

I don't know why things like this annoy me. I've always been slightly bothered when things are mislabeled, but recently I've been yelling at the radio when they talk about the headliners...usually things like "Who?! You have got to be kidding me! This is ridiculous!"

It didn't use to be this way. I think, back when Bluesfest first started, it was actually about Blues. As I recall, things started to go downhill when they booked someone who qualified as Blues but was also a hugely popular guy....and then I guess they got a taste for the money that radio-acts bring in, and the whole "Blues" thing has been largely ignored since. It seems to get worse every year.

I wonder if this will ever happen to Jazzfest..."Buy your tickets early for Jazzfest, this year we have Justin Timberlake and 50cent!"
 

Thirteen Things about Alix I don't always participate in Thursday Thirteen like the lovely Sherrie does. But, then again, I seem to only post about twice a month, so maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I did a Thursday Thirteen every once in a while. This week's Thursday Thirteen has a theme of recommended locations for travelers, which intrigued me. So here goes: 1. The "Rest" of Ontario Might as well start at home. All too often, when people think of Ontario, they think of Toronto, or Southern Ontario. Ontario is much much cooler than that people - as long as you enjoy lakes, anyway. The above picture is from the backwoods of Eastern Ontario, but I really recommend people check out the North Shore of lake Superior. It is gorgeous. 2. Cochem, Germany The Mosel River is stunning. Cochem itself, is a beautiful town. It has some great wine and, if you tour the castle, you can get some inspired ideas on  house-features for drunkards. Gabe's favorite memory of traveling with me may be our trip to Ireland, but my favorite memory of traveling with him would probably have to be our trip to Cochem. 3. New Brunswick I always know when I'm getting close to Gabe's house, because the scenery becomes more and more beautiful the closer I get. New Brunswick tends to be ignored for flashy locations such as PEI and Nova Scotia, but that doesn't mean that it isn't beautiful in it's own right. I'm particularly found of the Grand Falls area. It's where the above picture was taken, and it is also right close to Mt. Carleton, which is the highest peak in the Maritimes, a great afternoon climb, and a fantastic view of nothing but Canadian wilderness in all directions. 4. Newfoundland Newfoundland is like a secret planet. There's a reason Newfoundland nationalism is so strong, it really does feel like it a country unto itself. 5. St. John's, Newfoundland St. John's gets it's own entry. It is a great city. I'm willing to bet it has special appeal to those of us who grew up in places such as Ottawa, who like our cities to be a certain size - not too small, not too big - a city should have everything you need, and nothing more. It has the most amazing social-scene I've ever had the pleasure of drinking with. I could go on and on, but it's really something that has to be experienced. Recently, I was chatting with a fellow who, like me, grew up in Ottawa but spent a year or so living in Newfoundland just recently, and we both expressed the desire to have St. John's come with us wherever we went. 6. Montreal My attempt to live there may have failed, but I'm not holding it against the city as a whole. I'd have loved to have stayed. Montreal is a great city. I dare say, as long as you don't try to drive, it MAY in fact be better than Toronto...but really, it's like comparing apples to...umm...different apples. 7. Bermuda There's something about realizing that you are in the middle of the Atlantic, on an extremely narrow stretch of land, that fills you with a kind of fear that only someone born on the Canadian shield can appreciate. My next venture will be to go to some Pacific island and experience that same sort of rush of adrenaline that says "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?" and then in the next breath think "This is AWESOME!" Bermuda has a great feel to it. There aren't any of those stupid resort things, that separate the tourists from the rest of the world. Also the architecture is so much fun. If it's not square, it's round. The limestone roofs are brilliant in all senses of the word, and if you go for a swim in February, you'll have the beach all to yourself, except for a few people out for a stroll that look at you like you are from Mars - Bermuda, is SUB-tropical. 8. Ireland My favorite small town is Kilkenny. My favorite city is Cork. My favorite Indian Restaurant is in Limerick. My favorite castle is in Cahir, Co. Tipperary. 9. Berlin, Germany If you like museums, have I got the place for you! Berlin has a whole island dedicated to museums, while simultaneously providing a treasure trove of conflicting architectural styles and history before you even reach the museums. Besides Dublin, I've never actually been to another European capital, mainly, because I don't like big cities. I make an exception for Berlin, and I think it is well deserved. 10. Switzerland I think the picture says it all really. The place is beautiful. I took that picture behind a truck-stop...if that's what the places they DON'T advertise look like, just think of the places they do! 11. The Black Forest, Freiburg, Germany 12. The Scottish Highlands Sadly, I do not have a picture on hand. I took the train ride up from Glasgow to Mallaig (it's the same train track they use for the Hogwarts Express in the Harry Potter films). There's enough beauty up there to kill a man. 13. Your Own Home Look around, not so much at the house/apartment/dwelling itself, but the community and landscape around you. I find all too often people take the places they are from for granted - or, they develop this weird notion that the place they live in his horribly mundane, whereas the REST of the world is amazing. People spend a lot of their time wishing they were some place else. When you go someplace else though, there are people who live there, and while you are taking pictures of their home and ooh-ing and ahh-ing, they are walking by thinking that where they live is horribly mundane and wouldn't it be nice to go someplace interesting... When I took the train up though the Scottish Highlands, there were houses perched on the sides of mountains. I kept wondering if those people realized that they were living in one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen, or if they just worked on their farms with a general sort of indifference their surroundings, like so many others. If you can't appreciate the beauty of your own home, wherever it may be, then you'll turn into one of those tourists in the Radiohead song "the Tourist", running to check off the next item on your "to see" list and completely missing the point of travel, beauty, and life in general.

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I've developed a case of laryngitis now. This is new to me. I rarely lose my voice and certainly I've never lost it to this degree before. I can speak only in whispers. When I attempt to make a vocal noise, I can sometimes get a sort of non-committal grunt after many tries.

It's reminded me of when I was young though. I have to be honest and say that these memories haven't surfaced in years, but when I was young I used to occasionally panic at the thought that I had forgotten how to use my voice. I was not afraid that I had forgotten how to talk(I say this only because many people who read this journal know that I had a fairly heavy speech impediment when I was young). My fear had nothing to do with forgetting how to form words in the mouth.

Occasionally, when I found myself alone for any length of time. I would suddenly become convinced that I had forgotten how to use my vocal chords. I found that when alone, I was unable to raise my voice above a whisper. In every instance, it was not that I had actually forgotten how to use my vocal chords, it was that I was unable to raise my voice above the level that the situation required. It was an odd unintentional (and entirely subconscious) limitation on myself. I could only whisper, because I only needed to whisper in order to hear myself. If I found someone to talk to, I'd have my voice again, because it was only then that I needed it.

This afternoon, once I had realised that my voice was indeed gone, I shrugged it off as a side-effect from my cold. Then I started thinking about how I really feel perfectly fine. My throat feels fine, save a dry cough. My vocal chords, in so far as I can tell, feel fine. The only problem is that when I try to speak, nothing comes out. It was then that all of a sudden, I was flooded with these memories of me as child, sitting in a room and trying to remember what it felt like to speak. How is the sound of my voice usually produced? Am I really duplicating the same force of air required? It was impossible for me to tell as a kid. I would sit there whispering to myself, knowing that something must be off with my method, but unable to pinpoint what exactly.

As I recall, it used to take me several minutes. I've never been the openly-panicking type really, but I'd sit there for several minutes trying desperately to pretend other people were in the room to see if I could remember how to speak in more than a whisper. Usually,  after a few false starts, I would finally make some sort of vocal noise, startle myself at it's volume, and then relax and not bother speaking again until the need arose.

My only point in posting this is to ask: Was this an odd childhood experience of mine? Does anyone else ever remember worrying that they had lost their voice as a kid (not due to illness, but just because they'd forgotten how to use it)?

I take issue with this personality test, but will post it anyway. Except I will say: just because I don't like crowds and large parties, does not mean that I fear judgment or am ashamed of myself, what it means is that I do not like loud noises or barely controlled chaos. I don't actually give a damn what people think of me, I think I'm awesome and have nothing to be ashamed off. It should also be noted that I have trouble meeting people because most people are idiots who aren't worth my time, lovely people as I'm sure they are to whoever it is that can put up with them. So...yeah...read this how you will, the later part of it sounds somewhat accurate.

That all being said, I am pretty easily embarrassed and I really don't like the sensation, which is why people who play practical jokes on me tend to end up dead (to me).  And is it just me or does that third-to-last sentence make me sound like a callous bastard?


My Personality

Neuroticism	41
Extraversion	31
Openness to Experience	43
Agreeableness	26
Conscientiousness	26

You do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find yourself tempted to overindulge, however you are sensitive about what others think of you. Your concern about rejection and ridicule cause you to feel shy and uncomfortable around others. You are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Your fears that others will criticize or make fun of you are exaggerated and unrealistic, but your awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others, however you are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgments based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. You are not an overly cautious person. You will think about alternatives and consequences but make up your mind fairly quickly.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report. The best Buying Pet Gifts.

Since I'm not that great at updating with interesting, well written thoughts or stories, how about I update with a silly not-so-well written story?

I was cleaning out my desk drawers last week and I came across a story I wrote when I was young. I'd guess that I was nine years old, seeing as how I didn't know how to read until then.

Reading it now, I can actually see that I haven't changed much over the years and, really, my adult behaviour should come as no surprise once anyone reads the story.


I guess the moral of the story is that you should enjoy life and not let anyone tell you differently. Some other lessons learned are: try to be polite, but if that doesn't work, then it's alright to use brute force; don't kill people; if you accidentally destroy something, help rebuild it; and, if there is no fruit available, horses are a viable source of nutrients. 

This is my new haircut and Hey Rosetta! Shirt. The birdies fly over the shoulder and onto the back of the shirt where it says "hey rosetta!" I had promised Sherrie a picture of my haircut about three weeks ago (though, my haircuts really all look the same to the untrained eye), so it's about time I put one up. The shirt is an army green. All my indoor photos are yellow tinged, because it hides the fact that I never bother wearing makeup anymore, also, my flash is so bright that I'd have to wear stage-makeup in order to look good in a photo.

In other news, the job is going well. I'm finally getting used to it. This past month I only worked part-time hours, but that should change now that I know what I'm doing. I don't mind the job so much, it's kind of nice. This is either a phase, and I will go back to freaking out about where my life is headed soon, or I've actually managed to get it through my head that this doesn't have to be the be-all-end-all of my life, and I might as well enjoy it while I can and keep thinking of future possibilities. Right now though, this job is a pretty sweet deal and I'm happy with it.

Mainly, I am happy with it because I found out that in the next year, I have to take 3 possibly 4 trips...and it really helps to have an income when you consider how much plane tickets are. Firstly, I have to go to New Brunswick to bring Gabe a few things he left behind, and to visit him for reasons discussed in a minute. Secondly, I promised Dana a long time ago that she and I would go to Finland together someday. Well, she's been really patient over the years, but my finances or the timing have never been great. That being said, I would really like to do the trip soon, because I'm starting to feel like it may never happen otherwise, so I'm aiming for next summer. Fourthly, I would really like to go to Germany and visit with Sherrie. I miss her to pieces, however, this trip might not be possible because: Fifthly, I have to go to China/Singapore in the spring. I had told Sarah that I would try to visit her before she left Singapore, and this coming school year is going to be her last out there, also it works out because not only is Vancouver/Seattle on the way to Singapore, but so is China and, as of last week....

...Gabe is officially returning to China.



He's not particularly thrilled about it.

The good old Canadian gov't once again turned him down for a job and so,  feeling useless and unwanted by his own country, Gabe decided to go where he knew he would be welcomed: China. So, he is going back to teach and practice his Mandarin more, in the hopes of being able to eventually become a certified translator/interpreter.  I promised when he came back the last time, that if he ever returned, I would go out and visit him. It's not often you get your own personal guide/interpretor in China, and I figured I should take advantage.

So, there you go. That's what I've been up to the past month. I know this is a news post and originally this was supposed to be a writing/photography journal, but whatever, now it's a catch-all.

I did find a story I wrote when I was eight or nine, that I think has a very good moral...so I might post that this week sometime.

In the meantime, enjoy THIS ARTICLE about why I'm right and the rest of the world is stupid.

Sorry, I've been a bit crap at updating recently. I will post on Sunday night or Monday. I would post more now, but I'm about to head into the backwoods of Eastern Ontario, where no telecommunications company dares to tread.

*Written by me, but posted at Sherrie's request.



It's tricky to work for the future but also enjoy the present. I guess you have to think about it like walking: You have to keep your eye on the horizon, as well as on the ground in front of you. If you look at your feet the whole time, you won't stumble, but you'll also wander around aimlessly without any clue as to where you are going. If you look at the horizon the whole time, you'll know exactly where you are going, but you'll step in a rabbit hole and twist your ankle, or catch your foot on a rock and fall flat on your face.

Just a quick note, that if anyone wants to check out more photos of Hey Rosetta, (specifically Tim, the lead singer, as I seem to have forgotten to take pictures of the rest of the band) you can head over to my flickr page.

Enjoy!

Last night was the Hey Rosetta! show at Mavericks. I first discovered Hey Rosetta when I was in Newfoundland. Unlike every other Newfoundland band I heard that year, I didn't discover them while half drunk at a bar. I discovered them at Fred's Records. I had gone in to find Susan a Christmas present. I wanted to get her some music that she wouldn't otherwise be exposed to, and since she was going to be taking off the next year for Vancouver, I figured an East Coast band would do the trick.

Usually, I would have wondered over to the "Listening" section of the store and stood around listening to various CDs until I found one I liked; but as soon as I walked in the store, they had a rack of hot new releases, and in the top right corner of the rack was an enthusiastic "Hey Rosetta!" but what really caught my eye was that they were the only band on the whole rack (which was mostly mainstream stuff) to have only one little CD left. The CD was only $10 because it only had six or seven songs. I bought it and figured I'd give it a listen. If I didn't like it, then it was only $10 and I could come back and find something better for Susan.

I was back a week later to buy a copy for myself.

I missed them the one time they played in St. John's while I was still there. But they released a longer album right before I left, so I purchased it and counted myself lucky.

Naturally, I was thrilled the other week to discover they were going to be in Ottawa on March 1st. So, I convinced Sonya that it was in her best interests to join me for the concert, and off we went!

It was an awesome show. I'm not sure how else I can put it into words, so here is what I wrote to my beloved Newfoundlander, Sherrie, when I got home:

The Hey Rosetta concert was AWESOMELY EXCELLENT! I missed you. I fell in love with Tim. I missed Newfoundland.

I talked to Tim after the concert, just briefly, while I was waiting for Sonya to come back from the bathroom. I told him it was an excellent show. I told him that I had been in Newfoundland in 2006 and had discovered them then, and I was so happy they had come to Ottawa, I told him I had been checking their site, hoping that his bronchitis wouldn't interfere with this evenings show, then I said goodbye (he said "It was nice meeting you, Alix" and I was impressed he had bothered to remember my name for a full minute.) Sonya and I left and went out to grab a sobering pizza, and I went on the whole time about how I should have declared my undying love, how I should have proposed...but that he would inevitably leave me for another girl who threw themselves at him after a concert, so it was for he best that I hadn't...but that if he had proposed I would have said yes.

I want to live my life in a Hey Rosetta song.

I bought a T-shirt and a CD.

I watched the lunar eclipse tonight. It was very cool and cold. I had wanted to try out my new tripod and take a few pictures, but was dismayed to find that the batteries in my good camera were dead. Since they were Lithium batteries, I couldn't just turn to my substantial stash of double As to save the day. My little digital of course was not meant for moon pictures, and wasn't even worth trying out. Instead I stood on the back porch and enjoyed the weird sort of darkness under the reddish moon. I picked out Orion and wondered if the flickering planet I was seeing was Venus or Mars or whether I was completely wrong and it wasn't flickering at all.

Sherrie gave me (well, Driftwood Dragons) an E for Excellent today over at her blog. The meme there is to give an E for Excellent to 10 of your favorite blogs. It occurred to me that I probably don't read ten blogs, so it'd sort of be a pointless exercise, as I would have to name every blog I read. So...umm, let's see. I read Sherrie's blog with I've already linked to. I read Sherrie's other blog too. Then there are the people on my friend's list here at LJ, who you can see by clicking on the little "Friends" link on the side there and ignoring the BoingBoing and GreatPoets feeds. Then there are my sister's blogs over at Myspace and my brother's picture of the week. That's basically it. There are a few others that I read every once in a while, but I don't really feel like tracking down the links...so, yeah.

There's another meme going around where you take your 15 favorite movies, get quotes from them, and then have people guess what movie it is. So, I've done that below. What I discovered was that it is very hard for me to think of 15 movies that I would consider favorites. So, these aren't in any sort of order, they are quite literally the movies that I could remember liking. I'm sure there are far more, or even some movies that I like better than the ones on this list, and I'm sure I'll think of them later and kick myself.


So, there are the quotes. If you know the movie, comment, though no one ever really comments...so... if you, like many of my family and friends, do not like commenting, then simply guess in your head and never tell me what you think it is - that way, no one will ever know, not even I, whether you are right or wrong.

Oh yeah, just a tip: Not all these movies are actually in English. Some of those quotes are translated.

The job is slowly starting. I had orientation last week. This week they are trying to get us set up with user accounts and email service and stuff like that. It'll be nice to earn money, plus I'm really running out of stuff to do during the day. If the job doesn't start soon, I may actually have to take up one of my long-forgotten hobbies. Heck, maybe I should anyway.

Sherrie and I came up with a new idea for an awesome trip - two words: Ireland and motorbike. So, I have another trip to add to the list and yet another incentive to earn the big bucks. It might not happen for a while, and some of my other trips have time constraints so they get priority, but it's still nice to think of possible future adventures - especially when they involve Sherrie, who is so much fun I think she should be a controlled substance.

In closing, I leave you with the words of Alexander the Great, who knew how to conquer a country:

"Your ancestors entering Macedonia and the rest of Greece wronged us without previous grievance; but I, constituted as leader of the Greeks and wishing to take vengeance on the Persians, have crossed into Asia, something that you people started...And in the future when you send to me, send to me as King of Asia, and do not correspond on equal terms, but as to the lord of all that is yours, tell me if you need anything..."
                      - Letter from Alexander to Darius, King of Persia, 332 BC: Arrian, ii.14

(pictured: part of my lampshade)

The English language has disappointed me once again. First, there was the epic debacle of "Disenfranchised" and now, there is confusion that is the word "bemused." Apparently, it does not mean what I thought it meant.

In my Nelson dictionary:
1. To cause to be bewildered; confuse.
2. To cause to be engrossed in thought.

Online dictionary:
1.    bewildered or confused.
2.    lost in thought; preoccupied.

Second online dictionary:
1.     deeply absorbed in thought; "as distant and bemused as a professor listening to the prattling of his freshman class"; "lost in thought"; "a preoccupied frown"
2.     perplexed by many conflicting situations or statements; filled with bewilderment; "obviously bemused by his questions"; "bewildered and confused"; "a cloudy and confounded philosopher"; "just a mixed-up kid"; "she felt lost on the first day of school"

It was upon reading "a preoccupied frown"  that I panicked. I had been reading a story, and since the author wasn't a particularly good author, they kept repeating certain things over and over again, one of which was the phrase "a bemused frown." At first I didn't think much of it, because, hey, internet writing isn't really an authority on language. But after the third time I saw the word "frown" follow the word "bemused," I figured I should look up the word, because I had never associated the word "bemused" with the word "frown" before.

So, I talked to Gabe about it:

Gabe: bemused doesn't mean "slightly amused with some curiosity towards the witnessed act?"

Me: No, apparently it's a confused or bewildered frown. keyword: FROWN

Gabe: like disapproving? weird

Me: Which doesn't make any sense to me, because "muse" has always indicated something good in my mind.

Gabe: mine says "preoccupied/lost in thought." Ours is a Collins dictionary

Me: Oh yeah, that's the other one...but that doesn't contain the idea of being amused...which I always thought was part of it.

Gabe: muse is neutral to me, like think...

Me: to me it's neutral bridging on positive, but never negative...but the definition I found for "bemused" and the recent things I have been reading that use it all use it in a negative sense...like being bewildered to the point of being disconcerted.

Gabe: odd

Me: Very

Gabe: wow
Gabe: man
Gabe: I should reread a lot of my fantasy literature then :P

Me: Haha

Gabe: people seemed cooler when bemused rather than bewildered

Me: Yeah...that's what I thought "what have I misinterpreted over all these years?!" or "what false messages have I given?!"

Gabe: hahaha
{end}

Now, that all being sad, when I looked up the etymology of the word, it sort of made more sense to me. Still, I prefer the definition of "bewildered yet amused" than the definition of a "preoccupied frown."

Time for a game! It's called "Spot the person who will become Alix's best friend." This week I am stealing a photo from my friend Alana, who hopefully does not mind it being posted here:



Not a very hard game, I realize. It also serves a duel purpose, as I can direct people to this picture when they give me gruff about my choices in friends...though, ironically, the person I will most likely be directing here is the guy captured so well in the photograph.

I love this picture, not just because of the subject matter, but because of the poor scanning. I love the fact that Alana didn't try to line it up perfectly, that there is dust, that the colours seem oddly washed out. For the five-year anniversary of our arrival in Freiburg, we all took time to post some of our favorite photos onto Facebook. I loved Alana's uploads because all the photos felt old. They weren't the perfect digital copies the rest of us had, (or the meticulously scanned photos I had), they actually had a dated quality to them. A sense of time passed. Five years isn't a long time, but a lot has changed since then.

I've settled into my friendships and sometimes it's great to be reminded of why they started up in the first place.

I stole this from vonandmoggy. Obviously, I am not feeling too inspired these days when it comes to what to write in this journal! Anyway, hopefully that will pass. I am closer than ever to starting my job, so in the coming weeks hopefully I'll be busier and therefore more productive.



Instead of sleeping last night, I answered all these questions, and then thought "man, I really should try the novel thing again." Then I read through all the parts of the novel that I had written back in the day, and realized that I really only like two of the written sections, and one of them needs to be edited quite badly. Ah well.

Sherrie has tagged me, and so, I will comply. Though, if these taggings continue, I will run out of facts to share!

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Oh..."link to the person that tagged you"....done!

7 random and/or weird facts about myself:

1. When I was a baby I had a blocked tear-duct. This meant that one of my eyes did not drain properly. I would often wake up with that eye stuck shut due to excess sleep gunk. The nurses at the hospital called me a pirate. This condition eventually went away on its own.

2. Because of Fact #1, I was amused when I found the German comic "Alix: die Piraten-Tochter" while doing a google image search of my name once. It is one of only two comics I have found so far with the name Alix, and the only one where the name is used for a female.

3. I could pronounce sounds in German before I could pronounce the same sounds in English.

4. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realized that The Count on Sesame Street was "The Count" because he counted. I had never actually put the two facts together. In my mind he had always just been a Count of someplace, and, completely unrelated to his title, he enjoyed counting.

5. I have only ever vomited due to alcohol consumption once.

6. I have tried on at least 4 separate accounts to learn French, two of which not-against my will, I have failed each time. I should really try again.

7. I have never smoked marijuana and I never plan to, but I absolutely love the smell.

Now, since I enjoy being a dead-end for memes I will disregard the final two instructions! If you, however, wish to embark on this journey of self-discovery, please feel free to pretend that I tagged you.

Sorry these aren't that interesting. I'll try to think of better things next time.

I can't figure myself out. I put off going to sleep, and then I put off waking up. It's as though I have an aversion to changes of state.

I had a guy with midnight hair stretched out with his head resting on me. I sat bent over him, running my fingers through his hair as he chatted with another person in the room. The darkest hair I had ever seen, and woven through it in small lines was every colour of the rainbow, not in the dull colour of hair dye, but in bright brilliant colour. I ran my fingers through his hair and listened to his voice rumble against me. 'This is heaven' I thought, as I took in his beauty.

He informed me in disappointment that we would be late for the show, and he had to go ahead. I could travel with his friends. We jumped in the expensive car that did not actually belong to any one of us, as the dream previous had established, and left for the show. I joked with his friends. Outside the hall to the concert, we laughed as I ate a slice of apple one of his friends gave me. They went in to get seats and I said I would be right behind them. I looked down the corridor for something I could focus on.

There was the taste of apple on my tongue. There was a digital clock that told me the time was twenty past three. There was the dim light of the corridor. There was my right hand on my chest, where his head had been. I knew the alarm would sound any minute and ruin the dream. I had to shut it off without waking. I had to somehow move without gaining full consciousness. I kept my right hand where it was and focused on the digital clock, and moved my left out from under the blankets, which were not present in the hallway. I felt the edge of my desk beside me. I felt the clock-radio, and was relieved when I found the second switch from the right. I clicked it up. The hallway flicked. The digital clock at the end of the hall told me it was three ten. Time counted down here and that seemed normal to me.

I made my way into the concert hall, and found an empty seat in the middle. He would be the lead singer, I realized, and thought it amusing that I would conjure myself a cliche. But I didn't love him because he was the lead singer, or just because his hair was midnight black with all the colours woven through, and he had laid against me while I ran my fingers through his hair.

I still had the taste of apple on my tongue, the feel of his hair through my fingers, when the auditorium lights dimmed and stage lights came up, and the band was silhouetted on stage. The music started and it was some sort of heavy punk rock, the words unintelligible, yelled into the mic, I had a brief thought of 'I don't even particularly like this music,' but I wanted so desperately for the spotlight to come on, so I could see his face.

But the auditorium shattered around me, when to my left REM began to sing:

"But that was just a dream,
That was just a dream..."

I hit snooze in a burst of frustration, and tried to return to the concert, focus on the taste of apple on my tongue, the stage lights as I had last seen them...but it was useless. It was already three o'clock and I had been waking up every nine minutes since noon. It was only after I had gotten out of bed that I realized how appropriate it was that I should be woken with those exact lines from that exact band.

To be boring, because I am bored.


Man, 2007 was a horribly depressing year. 2008 will be better.